Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. (-Billy Madison)

A short anecdote about crying when I started second grade.

Hello and happiest First Week of School! Man, it couldn’t come soon enough. Year after year, this last childcare-less week leading up to the kids starting school inevitably concludes with me and Katie losing our minds. And 2024 was no exception!

In honor of this new school year, I’m sharing a short anecdote. Since our younger son is starting second grade, I couldn’t help but remember a moment from when I started second grade.

I’ll preface this by saying I was a very sensitive child. In first and second grade, I cried often at school, usually for reasons that, in retrospect, do not seem to merit tears. At the time, though, these incidents were very overwhelming! So, back to my first day. I showed up in the classroom, very amped to be carrying the below lunchbox.

That’s right. Don’t be too jealous. It featured the characters from the animated series based on the popular movie franchise about goofy cops, Police Academy. This lunchbox had all your favorites: Mahoney. Hightower. Jones. Hooks. Zed. I don’t need to tell you who they are, I’m sure you remember.

But anyway, the day started, and Mrs. Pond told us to put our lunches on the shelves in the closet near the door. By the time I made it there, though, the roomier part of the shelf had already been filled in by my classmates. There was another area of shelf, but I couldn’t tell if it was going to be big enough for…

Oh no. It wasn’t big enough. My lunchbox didn’t fit on this part of the shelf. I had failed. What do I do? What do I do? I thought. Where am I going to put my lunchbox? Just on my desk or something? That seems weird! What do I—

And then came the tears.

Yes. I cried on the first day of second grade because I couldn’t immediately find a place to put my Police Academy lunchbox.

I don’t remember what happened after that. Probably Mrs. Pond came over to me, said something in a nice, calming voice and pointed out another available shelf that would work. Crisis averted.

Back then, I wished I wasn’t a kid who cried a lot. I felt shame about it, all internally driven. Lucky for me, my parents were very understanding. They told me I was sensitive, and that it was okay. I’m still grateful for that.

But, nevertheless, I spent a lot of time agonizing about my sensitivity. The only thing that slightly shifted my perspective was a Family Feud episode where the question was, Name a quality a woman looks for in a romantic partner. And one of the answers was, “Sensitive.” For the first time, I thought, “Oh cool, maybe being sensitive could be…a good thing?”

Though I’m sure the women surveyed weren’t thinking, “I want me a man who cries when he doesn’t know where to put his lunch!” being sensitive has, of course, turned out to be a good thing. We creative people tend to be, for better or worse, sensitive souls.

I stopped crying so regularly once I got to third grade, but of course that sensitivity has remained. And, as Katie and I raise our own sensitive children, I remind them often of these big feelings I had. Thankfully, we’re living in a society that’s a little more tuned in and open to feelings, with so many fantastic kids’ books and movies (bravo, Inside Out) tackling this theme, though if right-wing Twitter is any indication, boys crying is still frowned upon by far too large a chunk of the population. (VOTE HARRIS/WALZ!)

So, as we start this new school year, let’s make room for all our kids’ feelings, regardless of gender, and let’s continue to normalize crying, and let’s remember to be patient with ourselves and each other and our kids as we all slowly evolve and develop. And also, maybe let’s revisit the Police Academy movies. I’m sure they’re incredibly problematic. But a real good time too.

T-Recs!

Here are two Middle Grade novels I recently read and loved. Though geared toward ages 8-12, these are seriously brilliant reads for all ages.

The first is Those Kids From Fawn Creek, by Erin Entrada Kelly. I was already a huge EEK fan, and Hello, Universe is one of my favorite MG novels, so I had high expectations going in. But they were exceeded! The book is about a 7^th-grade class of 12 white kids in a small Louisiana town called Fawn Creek. They’ve all been going to school together since they were little, so everyone knows everyone, which can of course be a blessing and a curse. But then a new girl named Orchid joins the class, and everything shifts.

When the book starts, I had that feeling like, “Oh shoot, I’m never gonna be able to keep track of these different characters.” But then, slowly, you get to know each kid so well, and understand them, and care about them. The social dynamics depicted feel so true-to-life and so moving. It’s a quiet feat of storytelling.  

The second is Eventown, by Corey Ann Haydu. Remember when I talked about so many fantastic books about feelings that exist nowadays? Well, this is one of them! It’s a profound story about the messiness of being a person. After experiencing something terrible, Elodee and her twin sister Naomi move with their parents to Eventown for a fresh start. Everyone is always happy in Eventown, and everyone fits in, and everything seems…well, perfect. BUT OF COURSE IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. And I don’t mean that in some kind of Stepford Wives horror way—the book veers creepy at times, but it’s more emotional creepiness, if that makes sense. Eventown operates on such a sophisticated emotional frequency. It’s devastating and inspiring, and I’m so glad it exists.  

One Last Thing:

Have you seen this article about Apple not ever allowing villainous characters to be seen using iPhones in movies and TV? If this is true, it’s pretty wild. Big corporations shape our existence so much more than we realize.

And on that optimistic note, enjoy this first fall weekend and see you next week. If you’re enjoying this newsletter, please give that like button below some love! And share with others if the spirit moves you. You are great.