Can we be sincere together for a few minutes?

A tiny (optional) exercise for the end of summer that will slow you down and (possibly) bring you contentment.

Photo by Daniel Schludi on Unsplash

Hello, friends. Just a short appearance from me this week (and on a Saturday!) because my big bro and sister-in-law Dustin and Erin are in from LA, and we’ve been having lovely times with my mom and dad and my sister Mariel and brother-in-law Brett and my nephew and my brand-new niece!

Though I know self-help books aren’t for everyone, I am someone who enjoys them from time to time. So I really liked this recent NYTimes piece by Jenny Taitz about building the happiness muscle. And I’m sharing it with you here (as a gift, so you can read it even if you don’t have a subscription)!

Here’s an excerpt I was into:

“Close your eyes and recount out loud, in the present tense, where and when you experienced the greatest joy. Home in on details and physical sensations, like the breeze cooling your face as the sun shines. This all might feel hokey, but don’t gloss over the specifics, Dr. Meuret cautioned. The idea isn’t just to remember how you felt, but to amplify and reexperience it. Psychologists call the process of identifying and immersing in positive emotions savoring.”

So, in that spirit, let’s get hokey together! Because that’s what it’s all about. (Sorry.)

For real, though, as summer winds down, why not take a moment to reflect and, yes, SAVOR. Give yourself a few minutes to think about, or even write about, three moments when you felt joy this summer. This can include quiet moments of contentment that might not translate so well to Instagram. Times when you felt at peace. Times that maybe even included an Arnold Palmer.

And then, as much or as little as you want, speaking out loud or in your brain-voice, try to do what that paragraph above suggests: remember all the small details of that experience, the feeling you had. Try to relive it. Think about what got you to that experience. Maybe it was a plan you made, or maybe it was a spontaneous moment of happiness.

I realize this can indeed feel cheesy, but actively committing to sincerity can be a bold move in this oft-cynical world. I did this exercise yesterday (I opted for brain-voice), and it was really nice. As the piece goes on to say:

“’Growing the glow of positive emotions,’ as Dr. LaFreniere put it, strengthens your memory of them, and increases your motivation to seek them out going forward. Savoring also helps counteract the very human tendency to focus on and remember negative aspects of an event: the friend who was 15 minutes late, the thing you wish you hadn’t said.’

With probably more information going into our brains per hour than at any time in human existence, it makes sense that we might have to make more of a deliberate effort to preserve the positive experiences. So shove some of those memes out of the way and solidify some joy instead.

And get ready to experience some more this fall. Possibly with a pumpkin-flavored Arnold Palmer in your hand.

T-Rec:

Katie and I saw Oh Mary! last week, and it was fantastic. So funny, so irreverent, with such wild, hilarious, fearless performances. Just the smartest kind of stupid, and we both loved it.

Have a super Labor Day weekend! Take it slow, make your friend laugh with a random text, and—speaking of solidifying joy—sign up to volunteer for some phone-banking/door-knocking shifts in September!

See you in the new school year.