Hello in the year 2025.

Advice for myself on existing right now that might help you too.

Hi, friends. Welp! 2025, huh? Really feeling fantastic so far. And by fantastic, I mean bad! In the beginning of the month, I started writing a post for the new year. It was going to be a quick one, as I’m still deep in the slow YA novel rewrite I was doing when you last heard from me in December. (Like I said: always takes me longer than I think. I’m for real in the homestretch now, though. I’ll be turning it in by the end of next week! BY GOD I MUST).

But then…the LA wildfires started, and my older brother Dustin and sister-in-law Erin lost their house in Altadena, and so many other people lost their homes too, and everything felt insane, and I didn’t have the focus, time, or motivation to finish my post about 2025 intentions and whatever now-insignificant-seeming thing I had planned to write about.

As much as I can accurately speak on behalf of Dustin and Erin, which is only a little, they’re doing as okay as two people can after they’ve lost their home and nearly all their belongings. They’re both safe, as are their dogs Gus and Elliot, and they have an amazing network of friends out in CA taking care of them. But it’s A Lot.

Gus.

Elliot.

To everyone in LA, who’s been dealing with the stress and toxic air of these still-ongoing fires all month, my heart goes out to you. Climate change is real and scary, and we’re all gonna keep taking turns experiencing it.

In the midst of this devastation, it’s been moving to see so many people rallying to help my siblings and others. As Dustin said, it feels like literally everyone he and Erin have ever known in their lives has reached out to offer support. It occurred to me that this is the internet and social media at their best, the utopian tools for connection on a massive scale we imagined they could be until we started to realize they’re ruining so many other things.

What did someone in 1988 do when faced with disaster? Probably a phone tree, friends and family calling as many folks as possible. But then what? Sending checks in the mail? Faxing them? Were you allowed to fax checks? Were people just throwing cash Wonderful-Life-style into a huge pot?

Thus, a conclusion: social media can—occasionally, when used as a tool for helping others—be good. It’s important for me to remember that, because it’s so easy to slip into the binary black-and-white mindset that things are either ALL BAD or ALL GOOD. Though the algorithms are cynically designed to encourage that kind of thoughtlessly definitive thinking, life never actually works that way.

Man, I couldn’t even go one paragraph without crapping on social media.

Which brings me to this week. This no-good, terrible, stupid-cold, very bad, overwhelming week. (Alexander’s obsession with Australia is making more and more sense to me these days.) What is there to say really? We knew it would feel bad, and it does. It feels ALL BAD. The Joker is running through Arkham Asylum, freeing all the inmates, and it’s hard not to keep thinking, People voted for this shit? At this point, a headline reading President Calls for Elimination of Traffic Lights would not shock me. (“We’re going back to pure, unregulated streets. When you wanna go, you go. When you wanna stop, you stop. Very nice. Very free.”)

So what are we to do? How are we to handle the coming months and years? Maintain our joy in the face of all this? Here’s some of what I’m thinking about for myself that might be helpful for you too.

1. Stay engaged with the news, but do it mindfully.

It’s tempting, during a week like this one, to tune it all out. Taking occasional breaks from the news is essential, but a full-on head-in-the-sand approach moving forward won’t help anyone. That’s the kind of widespread apathy and nihilism that fascism thrives on, that got us this government in the first place. So stay aware of what’s happening.

But don’t immerse yourself in an hourly news drip either. That’s how Trump term one started for me, and it was an awful, enervating feeling. I want my news consumption to resemble something closer to the old-school reading-the-morning-newspaper model. You choose some trusted sources and take some time to read them each day. Assuming you’re not a journalist, it’s okay if you don’t catch the headlines the second they drop. And when really big news drops, someone will probably text you about it, I promise. (Hi, Dad.)

I’ve been reading Crooked Media’s What a Day newsletter since it started in 2017. It’s a great end-of-day news round-up. I also, as you know, love Jess Craven’s Chop Wood, Carry Water substack for grounded optimism and daily actions. Other reliably smart and informative political newsletters I love include Jay Kuo’s The Status Kuo and Dan Pfeiffer’s The Message Box.

And, of course, if you find yourself doom-spiraling on the news, stop doing that and take some action instead, even if it’s small. Doing something WILL make you feel better. Call your senator. Call your congressperson. Do whatever Chop Wood, Carry Water tells you to do that day. Or take some simple actions with Climate Action Now, another great activist resource.

2. Make social media a choice, not a habit.

These apps are feeling more tainted than ever these days, with Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, and the rest of the tech clown car honking their little horns and doing their silly big-shoe dances for our new president.

I know it’s not reasonable for everyone to stay off social media entirely, especially if it’s a crucial part of promoting your work, but I would encourage you to make it more of a choice and less of a habit. Just as with news consumption, go to these places mindfully, ideally with a specific goal—to post something or to check someone’s feed.

Form a relationship with your apps where you feel like you are actively choosing to go there instead of being urgently beckoned by a notification that is almost definitely not urgent at all. In fact, turn off your notifications. Sign out of the app every time you use it. Create friction barriers that give you a moment to think, Do I actually want to go on here or am I just on auto-pilot because I’m bored/tired/anxious?

And, if you are going there on auto-pilot, try to create some new habits for yourself in those moments instead. Like:

3. Read books and watch long-form entertainment.

Yes, when you’re feeling anxious and unsettled, don’t reach for your phone… Reach for a book! This is easier said than done, I know. But, especially now, I think reading books, along with watching TV shows and movies, is more beneficial than ever.

Our society is collectively in an attention crisis. It’s not just a problem affecting our kids! It’s us too! We’re losing our ability to focus. So, sitting and reading a book or putting your full attention on a movie helps strengthen the stamina of those atrophied brain muscles. Which seems like a good thing to work on as we enter a time that is undoubtedly going to involve some emergencies that might require clear thinking.

Reading and watching longer stuff will also chill you the eff out.

And lastly, studies have shown that consuming long-form narratives of any kind—written word or on the screen—help boost empathy, putting you outside yourself into the lives and experiences of others. Seeing as we again have an administration that is proudly 100% Empathy-Free!, this seems vital.

4. Spend real-life time with people who make you laugh.

We need our joy right now. Keep laughing. Keep having fun. It is healing. It is essential. Do it in person. With people you love. Joy and laughter are the enemies of fascism.

5. Create your own worlds.

Even as I’ve been stressing about this novel rewrite, moving into that high-octane deadline-approaching part of my process right after the election, I’ve also been grateful to put my focus on it. The gift of creating art is that, unlike our actual reality, it’s a world over which you have full control. Even as I have moments of wondering, Is my loopy YA mind-bending love story what the world really needs right now?, I also know it’s irrelevant because it’s what I need right now.

And I would encourage you, whether you’re an artist or not, to consider writing or drawing or painting or knitting or doing a puzzle or sculpting or basically, taking up any hobby that doesn’t involve tapping a screen. Create a world that you can control, that you can find solace and restoration in.

6. Listen to “King of Wishful Thinking.”

And finally: as I was writing this post, I had a random desire to hear this early 90’s chestnut by Go West. So I started listening. And it made me feel good.

I still remember playing this freshly-illegally-downloaded song in my freshman dorm room during college, and my roommate was like, “You’re into this? This is like mom mini-van music.” I felt mild shame but also pride.

Fuck yeah I’m into this. Let’s embrace the music and art and movies that we’re into, that can make us feel delight during these daunting, uncertain times.

Photo by Ayana Wyse on Unsplash

Sending big love to all of you. Now back to finish my rewrite. I’ll see you either next week or the week after that, and then I’ll get back to more of a regular schedule here. Thanks, as always, for reading and for being here. Drink some water. Eat your favorite candy. Take it slow. See you soon.